What does the future hold? (Email to Lori)

I am wondering about my future- what does it hold?

I just sent an email to Lori (our language coach). Part of it is below:

…Something else, I’ll maybe talk to you/One-Story leadership more about later, but I’m not sure what I will do after my project (next fall). Of course, first, I’ll go home, but then after that I’m not sure. I’ve been thinking that I may do another project, but can’t say for sure right now. I think, though I would really like to have a role in which I visit various teams. Something both Robin and I talk about from time to time is how helpful it would have been for you, or someone focused on language stuff to visit us in the first few months.

A visit to a team would be mainly to check on things (mainly language-culture learning), see their situation, give tips, etc. Then, correspondence via email, too could happen- and since I had been there, it might make corresponding even easier…? It would be very much like the consultant check we just had- but focused on those early things in the project- language/culture. I am thinking this is something I might like to do.

I think I would still want to do a project too (so I stay fresh, and don’t just have examples of language learning from Kahani/Hindi!!!). But if I had a project that maybe spanned more time (3 years?), thus allowing time for visiting other teams, etc. Anyway, just some ideas. I don’t know what He has planned, or what One-Story would be open to, or where I’ll be, but it’s something to keep in mind. I do always have those moments too when I think, “I’m not coming back after this!!! After this, I don’t ever want to her another story again, and I don’t want to have to speak or think in another language ever again!!!!” – but I know those are moments of frustration, and not really where my heart is!!!!
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Anyway, I wonder what is ahead of me…about a year left here…will it all get done? Maybe…Father, please direct my steps- in this project, and in other plans you have for me. Show me where you want me to go- if it works for me to take a trip to "Dry Land" early next year, that would be so cool- but may you direct me where you want me to go. You know when all the stuff was happening in that country. I really wanted to go. I guess I was a sophomore in college, or maybe even a senior in high school even, I really wanted to go- but since then had kind-of forgotten about that country til some Q-1 people talked about going there. You have always used others to help guide and direct me....

I love you Jesus. Thank you for making me so tired this afternoon and drained that all I can do is sit before you. Thank you for the energy that I know you will restore to me even in just a few minutes or tomorrow…preparing me for what you want me to do.

Amen.

Gathering their cultural stories

A picture from a trip to Panna's village this week....

Recording some of their cultural stories :)

Network busy...(Email to Mommy)

Mommy,

Hey, I waited for your call, but guess you were busy, or perhaps the network was busy...

Yesterday was a pretty busy day. Had language session in the morning. Then took the bike for it’s routine check-up- and the day before that I had met a girl this photo place who spoke English…so I asked her if she knew Kahani and if she could help me translate some stories from Kahani to Engl- she said she would try.

So, yesterday, I went back and sat in the middle of the shop and worked on a story with her- her brothers, or cousins were there too- they helped her on two parts she couldn’t understand. Her English is pretty good- and her Kahani is also pretty good- though not 100%.

After that, I walked back through the bazaar. Any person I met, I asked if they spoke English and if not, or if they met a girl who spoke English and Kahani to call me. Mainly I asked at the book shops where college girls come to buy books. While I was asking at one shop, a man was there listening and said, “I know some teachers in the college who might be able to help you, and after one week, I’ll call you and tell you.”

We’ll see…I’ve done that before- asked people, without much response, but this time I had more language to communicate exactly what I was looking for- so we’ll see.

Today, I’m going back to the bazaar to meet one storekeepers' daughters to try back-translating with them….and then I’m going to Panna’s village (the lady who cooks for us) to try story-crafting with a girl there. I want to get as much in my mind so I can talk with Judy and Trisha (our consultants) about all the options….

I guess we will talk soon! Okay, love ya and miss you!!

~ Elizabeth

"Where did Jesus come from?" (Journal Entry)

I’m fasting today, and so excited to have my typical meal time replaced with time with my Lord, and Friend. Father, it seems it’s been too long since I’ve really sat down and poured out my heart to you- and asked for you to pour our your heart to me.

Lord, I want to start with what is on my mind right now- that is the K people. Father, especially as Precious begins hearing more stories, and telling more stories, and as the neighbors hear more through testing- give us wisdom and preparation for their questions…and also give them clarity in spite of the pour recordings or something that might not be completely accurate.

Lord, after hearing the Bleeding Woman story, our neighbor asked, “where did Jesus come from?” – I was so thrilled to be able to tell her, “We have a story about that!- I’ll bring it next time!” And her response was, “yes, yes you bring it.” Wow- she wants to hear more stories- and not just any stories, but more about Jesus.

And Precious came to our Meeting time last week- and she wants to come again this week. Last week’s story was about how Jesus healed the paralyzed man, and how He has the power not only to heal physical sickness, but also has the power to forgive sins. We all shared prayer requests, and Precious asked if we could pray that Jesus would forgive her for all the wrong things she has done. Wow! I think she might be beginning the Journey! Acknowledging a need to be forgiven, and acknowledging that Jesus can do that is pretty amazing. I pray that she will begin praying to Jesus – and I pray that you, Jesus, would really begin to work in her life- draw her to you. Lord, use Robin, use me, use Vivian- most of all, use your Word to change her life!!!! And what a great privilege that we can sit back and watch!!!

Feeling Better! (Email Update)

(picture of Anne's Uncle playing an accordian type instrument, and Anne's litte cousin in their home)

Thank you for your prayers for my health. I’m feeling much better now, and have been able to resume working on stories, as well as take trips to two villages in the past few days. Please continue to pray for strength and endurance for both Robin and I as we work on stories- especially as we have 5 days left til our consultants arrive!!!!!!

“Sometimes a task we have begun takes on a seemingly crushing size, and we wonder what ever gave us the notion that we could accomplish it. There is no way out, no way around it, and yet we cannot contemplate actually carrying it through…Let us recall that the task is a divinely appointed one, and divine aid is to be expected. Expect it! Ask for it! Wait for it! Believe that God gives it. Offer to Him the job itself, along with your fears and misgivings about it. He will not fail or be discouraged. Let this encourage you. The day will come when the task will be finished. Trust Him for it! (~ Elisabeth Elliot)

‘For the Lord will help me; therefore I shall not be disgraced/confounded.’ Isaiah 50:7a

Misc - (Email to Parents)

Mommy and Daddy,

I received an amazing video from you yesterday- Vivian and I enjoyed it….it was SO GREAT….Glad to see you guys haven’t changed in the past year!! :) I love you so much!!! Can’t wait til you come!

I had a good time with Nathan today- got another story recorded, will test it tomorrow…supposed to meet Anne tomorrow…(she’s not living in her village right now, but with her Aunt in the bazaar somewhere). I’m supposed to go with a shopkeeper to his village on Sunday….it’s will be a busy weekend….

For the most of the day, I’ve felt like I’m going to throw-up….but haven’t. I've eaten whatever I've felt like, but don’t know why I feel like that. I still feel like I’m going to throw-up, and my stomach hurts kind-of…but what to do? Maybe I’m recovering? ;)

Love you.

~ Elizabeth

Email Update!

Short Version:
* Sick…
* 10 days and counting….(til our first Consultant Check!)

Longer Version!
Sick…
I’ve been sick the past five days- actually for longer than that, but more recently I’ve been sick and in bed the past few days. Initially it was a stomach thing, now it’s a cold/fever/body ache thing with the stomach thing. Don’t worry, I’m on antibiotics, and my roommate is taking good care of me! However, please do pray that I will get better soon- very soon. And especially also pray for my mind to rest as well as my body during this time. It’s very frustrating for me, who doesn’t like to sit still for too long, to be stuck in bed- especially when we have so much to do.

In spite of being sick, God has graciously helped me to reflect on all of His blessings and faithfulness to me over the past year. True, I would rather do that when I’m feeling better- but being sick somehow helps me realize it more, I think.

10 days and counting…(til our first Consultant Check!)
Our consultants (One-Story supervisors who check the accuracy of the work) are coming to check the progress of the stories in less than 10 days. They need to see several stories (via email) before coming so they can better know how to guide and direct us when they do come. We’ve been working hard trying to get everything ready- and things have been moving along, but there is still more to do. Please continue to pray that the stories will be completed in time- and if not, we won’t stress too much about it!!

P & P
* Praise for an encouraging trip to visit two other One-Story teams in the north of our country.
* Praise for beautiful weather yesterday and today (in spite of the monsoon season- the sun is shinning brightly!).
* Praise for “Precious” (another story-crafter) continuing to help with the stories.
* Prayer for health…for quick recovery.
* Prayer for “Nathan” (A new story-crafter) to be patient in making so many changes to stories!
* Prayer for Judy (our consultant) as she comes to check the work.- pray for safety traveling, and wisdom to help guide us.

Til All Have Heard,

~ Elizabeth
Just to keep the K people in front of our prayers…above is our house helper and some of her kids, in her village.

The little things (Email to Parents)

Hello.

My health is a little better…the fever is down, but the stomach sickness is back…

So, I read this morning about leaving the little things to God. We generally don’t even think of surrendering them to our Father because they are so little, we think we can handle it. But that is our first mistake- we can’t handle even the little things…oh, I guess we can, but we’ll still make a mess- even though it’s a little thing!!!

Nirmal (I'll call him "Nathan" from now on) called and said not to come today, he was going somewhere. I don’t know where. I asked if I should come tomorrow, and he said, “maybe, he would call.” When are we going to get work done? But it does give me time to test the David story with our neighbor…I tested it with Gaitree today- and she did okay in retelling it, forgot the most confusing part, which was not a surprise. We have to do something with that- but I don’t know what. I think I’ll ask Judy for help…it’s important for the story but not even Nirmal can remember it…not even I can remember it!!!

"This is Impossible...did I already say that?" (Journal Entry)

I feel pretty miserable right now for several reasons:

1) I’m sick…and can’t hardly move out of bed.
2) The project is pretty much impossible, and we’re going as fast as we can, but it still isn’t fast enough.
3) I feel pretty useless because I’m sick, and I’ve done nothing all week.
4) I also feel pretty lame in learning about the culture and the stories. My language skills are improving for sure- but is the project moving ahead? Which is more important here- that I have great language when we’re all through with this, or that we have a story set completed?

Most of the people I’m working with are just not working out- even Nirmal- Vimal’s brother is a pretty bad story-teller…and his language isn’t the best…I’m not even sure we’ll use him for another story…

One thing I keep coming back to- is what am I really here for? To complete these stories? To grow in my walk with the Lord? To show my neighbors through my interactions with my partner and housemate that we are different because of Jesus? To drive a motorcycle around town? To research B stories? To learn a language? To learn how to survive on not very much?

Well, all those things are certainly benefits of being here- but that is NOT why I am here. I am here, first and foremost to glorify my Father. There are many ways that can happen, but I shouldn't focus on one particular thing or way of doing that- since in South Asia, having only one focus or one way of doing something will always fail you- always good to have a back-up or alternatives. I need to glorify Him when I’m speaking with Panna over chai. I need to glorify him when I am discussing something with Robin. I should glorify Him when I’m studying the language. I should glorify him when I’m working on a story. I should glorify Him when Asha or Anne or others inform us indirectly that they don’t want to help us anymore…I should glorify him when I am sick in bed unable to do anything at all…except praise Him…

Why is it so hard? Because I am so driven by the goal and the purpose, I forget the process, and the reasons we are working toward a goal. I have trouble stopping and resting…and He knows that. And He is giving me a chance to do just that today. Perhaps I would rather I feel better…but He knows if I felt better, I would go and do lots of stuff- and not spent time with Him…

I’m think I’m more frustrated with myself for not resting more, and for not being who He wants me to be and rather just trying to do everything in ‘my own power.’

It’s so hard to not want to just leave right now and go home. This project really is impossible, there is no doubt in my mind now…and so why am I forcing myself through it?

May I pray these words to this song that just came on…and remember that you are indeed with me, leading me…and I can cling to. So easy to say, so hard to act on…

“and step by step you’ll lead me, and I will follow you all of my days.”

RAINBOW (Email to Parents)

Yesterday, I set out for the bazaar to take Judy’s suit to the tailor, look for a phone, and then go to Vimals’ family’s house to fix the David story. It was raining when I left, and pouring as soon as I got on the bike, hail too for a little bit I think. BUT, I have that wonderful waterproof jacket, that protected me, plus a nice fashionable plastic mask thing that attaches to my helmet to block some of the rain.

Needless to say, when I arrived in the bazaar, the bottom half of me was all stuck together because it was so wet. I could not have been more wet if I had jumped in a pool. And my face was soaked too...It was great though- no one else was out on the road! Perfect time to go driving. Everyone was huddled in shops and under trees to escape the rain- after all, who goes out in the rain? Only crazy foreigners who don’t know any better.

When I went into a shop, a puddle would form underneath me from all the water dripping off my salwar suit. And my flip flops are the super slippery kind, so I had a fun time trying to walk- I think I used some different muscles in my body trying to tip toe on the slippery pathway. I actually slid some too. If I was not a girl, I would have slid on my stomach- it would have been perfect for that!!!! But too bad, modesty and reputation had to get in the way!

After realizing I needed copies of my passport, phone bill and two passport pictures to get the SIM card for the phone (duh, have I not been through this before?)…I started driving to Vimal’s house, up the bazaar road, trying to avoid the ruts that had formed from the torrential downpour earlier.

I came around the corner near their house, and saw the most beautiful rainbow I’ve ever see in my whole life- in fact, I think it must have been the most beautiful rainbow ever made- except for Noah’s. It was between one mountain, all the way across the valley to the other mountain, full of color. It seemed like I was only about 100 feet from the end of the rainbow and had I driven further, I might have reached the end…Because of that, it was so big and bright and beautiful…what a glorious reminder of God’s faithfulness and promise to us…just what I needed.

Anyway, just wanted to share that with you! Have a great day!

~ Elizabeth
p.s. It doesn't look like a trip to Pakistan is going to happen this year after all....All well.

A large steel mill (Journal Entry)

Wow, Lord, you provided this reading from Streams in the Desert just for me today, as I start the week, coming out of a weekend of feeling frustrated, like a failure, worthless, and as if this work is completely impossible…

And on top of this reading- the sun just came out!!! :) I feel right now, like whatever happens today, this is going to be a good day- not good in the sense of the things that happen or don’t happen, but in the sense of attitude and being, and because you, above all, are indeed good.

Here is your promise and assurance to me from Streams in the Desert this morning:

I once visited the testing room of a large steel mill. I was surrounded by instruments and equipment that tested pieces of steel to their limits and measured their breaking point. Some pieces had been twisted until they broke, and then were labeled with the level of pressure they could withstand. Some had been stretched to their breaking point, with their level of strength also noted. Others had been compressed to their crushing point and measured. Because of the testing, the manager of the mill knew exactly how much stress and strain each piece of steel could endure if it was used to build a ship, building or bridge.

It is often much the same with God’s children. He does not want us to be like fragile vases of glass or porcelain. He wants us to be like these toughened pieces of steel, able to endure twisting and crushing pressure to the utmost without collapse.

God does now want us to be like greenhouse plants, which are sheltered from rough weather, but like storm-beatedn oaks; not like sand dunes that are driven back and forth by every gust of wind, but like granite mountains that withstand the fiercest storms. Yet to accomplish this, He must take us into His testing room of suffering. And many of us need no other argument than our own experiences to prove that suffering is indeed God’s testing room of faith.

It is quite easy for us to talk and to theorize about faith, but God often puts us into His crucible of affliction to test the purity of our gold and to separate the dross from the metal. How happy we are if the hurricanes that blow across life’s raging sea have the effect of making Jesus more precious to us! It is better to weather the storm with Christ than to sail smooth waters without Him.
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And it is certainly better to weather the storm with Jesus than without him!!! I can’t do this on my own, that’s for sure- so I should just stop trying!!!

Nomad girls!

We went to visit Jeff and Jimmy's nomad friends...

Here's a picture of us girls in some caps that the nomad women wear!

"Don't Worry" (Email to Parents)

Mommy and Daddy,

Don’t worry about the trip--- really…there will be enough to think about, for sure- but please don’t “Worry.” And if you get sick…it’s okay- I mean, it’s sad for you- but if we have to stay inside all day, close to the toilet…we’ll do that- I have lots of movies… :) I have lots of medicine too! :)

As far as my expectations. I have no idea what to expect from having my family enter into this world of mine over here. I don’t plan to have any expectations, but know that even subconsciously, I may have some. I know things will be different than what I expect- you’ll like and feel comfortable with some things that I would have never expected you to be okay with. You’ll hate things I thought you would love…that’s okay- I understand it will be like that. I've been realizing that people are different- and most people AREN’T like me! Haha…The fun part will be seeing all four of you interacting and figuring things out…because you are four different people too- and will all like and dislike different things- God made us each so unique didn’t he?

Don’t worry about “meeting my expectations” - If you hate India, hate the people, the food, the transportation….that’s okay…I am not asking you to love it. Yeah, I’ll be sad…but what has already made me happy is that you are coming here- to see me…do you know how much that means to me- and shows me you love me?

Whatever happens, I know that you are not coming here to adapt to the culture and live here. You are coming to see me- whatever makes that easier for you and comfortable is fine by me. If you can’t stand being in another home where you can’t communicate, if you get off the wrong side of the jeep (Don’t worry, there’s no right/wrong side:) ), if you need toilet paper on the train (:)), if you can’t eat the food, and need to make your own, if you need to take a nap for any reason, that’s fine!! Don’t worry about hurting my feelings, or not being or doing what you think I might expect. You’ll be here- and that’s the most important thing to me…and while I’ll try and make the trip enjoyable, if you just can’t stand it- please know I won’t take it personally!!!!!! :)

I love you, and can’t wait to see you!!

~ Elizabeth

Family coming to visit...(Email from Mommy)

So, I've been preparing and planning my parents trip....I sent Mommy and Daddy an email about the iterinary. It was a little overwhelming, and I ended it with a paragraph about not worrying and while there will be unexpected things that come up, we’ll be together and that’s the best thing about it all!

I received this email from Mommy in response…

I am especially comforted by your last words of encouragement. How did you know that my stomach would be starting to do flips as I read your email???! :)

I AM excited and I KNOW I can do this - and I REALLY DO WANT TO SEE YOU!!! as well as the rest of the stuff. But it is breath-taking and stomach-flipping! I'm so afraid you will expect us to be like you! For example, I'm sure we will not tolerate the water there - I am nervous about getting sick. Remember you DID get sick when you were first there...

I know it will be great and I am going to be positive and prepared and the best part IS that we will be all together. I can't wait for that!

The plans sound just fine. I really can't answer about the day in Kahan or the capitol- you decide.
Love and Miss you Lots,
Mommy

Playing "House" in the backyard... (Journal Entry)

Why do I like village life so much? It brings back memories of my childhood. When I used to pick grass- or even take the clumps from the lawnmower, and make a special stew. I used to collect pine needs, some brown and some green- that would be another side dish. Bowls I had made from mud, would dry in the sun, and then be used as containers. I would get nuts, and crack them with a stick or rock- making the oat like food for my horses and other animals. Using pine needles, I would clean the dirt floor of my home, behind the big tree in our backyard.

The only thing different between my childhood life and the village life here is that my childhood life was a life that I chose to play in, and escape to. For these people, they had no choice- this is there life, whether they like it or not. They make food from the same things I did, but they actually eat it. They draw water from rivers and actually drink it. They sleep in the floor, go to the bathroom outside, crack nuts with sticks, but they actually eat what’s inside. They use pine needles not to pretend to clean their floor, but to really clean it, after all, how else would you clean it? As a little girl I got to go inside at the end of the day, get a shower, crawl into a bed with a comforter on it that no little baby had gon to the bathroom on...here, it's all one life...there is no inside and outside...

Prayer for Kahan (Journal Entry)

I want to pray for the Kahani people today. I want to lift them up before you Lord. I want to pray for the work, the people, your glory…

I pray now for Anne- you know where she is, you know where her heart is. You know how close or how far away she is from you. You know if the stories she has already learned will make a difference in her life, or perhaps through her.

I thank you and praise you for already getting your word into Anne's village- by her sharing the stories with her family- only you know where those stories will go. Thank you for the other villages the stories have already traveled to- that is through the other girls in the sewing class.

Thank you for Mamta and her family- thank you for their willingness to test the stories, thank you for Mamta’s eagerness to help with the stories-

Lord, I pray for Achla, Nirmal, Neema (?), and the other boy- I don’t remember their names exactly. I pray that they would really enjoy the stories and grow in their faith. I pray for the girls- may they feel free to speak up in spite of Nirmal- thank you for Nirmal’s interest in the work and his interest in the story- realizing that there is stuff in the Book that he never heard before! I pray that they would be really good at figuring out how to make the stories natural and culturally appropriate. Lord, give them patience- and perseverance with this work…

Lord, please be with our landlord’s family tonight. May they see something in us- even see something in your creation, in even their own religion that directs them to you- you can use anything…

Lord, show yourself to our neighbors who lost their husband and father this past week- show them that there are no spirits flying around outside their home. Show them that their husband’s spirit is gone…but they can know where their spirits will go when they die, if they trust in You.

Lord- help me know how to pray for these people. As they get close to the time this evening of ringing their bells- show me how to pray for them….show them yourself. Should calamity fall on them before they will trust you?

Lord, please bring Precious know more of you- through Robin, through Vivian, through me, through YOUR STORIES…Lord, please give her interest and desire to keep working with us.

Keep Robin and my friendship strong and may we be an encouragement to each other- may we not become jealous or act as if we are in a competition- we are in this race together, true- but we are running along side by side- we may have different uniforms, or different shoes, but we are still heading towards the same goal and will reach it (or not) at the same time- together!!!

Lord, please be with other teams, girls and guys who are just figuring things out now- there is so much- and it really is stressful (At least for most people)- to learn to work together, in a place where you can’t communicate much to the people around you- and where you interaction with your partner is an example to others of Christ.

Lord- please guide our footsteps- there are many to take, and we are heading in the right direction- I think…but the path is long, and there are lots of little sidetracks too…Help us keep focused.

Father, thank you that we can trust you- thank you for motivating me to pray for these things today- help me to pray more.

Monday- I think I will fast for the K people.

Lord, I thank you for all you have done already- and look forward to what you will do in the future…

I love you.

~Amen

"Why Don't you Trust Me?" (Journal Entry)

Arms around her, Jesus said, “Why don’t you trust me?”
“I just don’t see how it’s going to happen…” she said, tears falling from her eyes
Jesus replied: “You can only see so far, you can barely see into the next second in front of you, why worry beyond that? I can see the next minute, hour, afternoon, day, week, month, year- I can see it all- and it is all very good.”
“It’s hard, Lord- I am wearing out- trying and trying again is starting to get old. I want to keep persevering, I want to please you, I want to accomplish this work. After all, there are people here who have never heard of you- shouldn’t that be enough motivation right there?”
“No, actually, it’s not. Nothing on earth will ever be enough motivation. Have you not yet realized that my glory, and my Name is what matters most? True, recording the next David story is important, and certainly part of bringing glory to my Name…but getting that next recording, or even getting another cultural story from a neighbor is not all that I’ve called you to be or to do.”
“What do you want, Jesus?” She asked, only half understanding. “I don’t know what else to do- how much to try, how much to give in, and how much to stand firm. I don’t know how much even to be still, and how much to take action. I’m getting discouraged with the people we’re working with who are letting us down…”
“Why? Don’t you know people will always let you down? Why expect anything more from them? I know, you should prepare for the worst and expect the best…generally a good guideline. However, perhaps what you are expecting as the “best” isn’t what I have in mind. Thus there is a conflict between your desired expectations and my ultimate plan.
“What do you want from this? What is your ultimate desire and outcome, Lord?”
“Oh no,” Jesus said, shaking his head. “If I told you that, where would the fun and suspense be? You wouldn’t learn all that I have planned for you if I just told you the answer to all the questions. It would be easier for me too- to just tell you all the answers. But, like a teacher who doesn't give out the answers to their students becuase they want them to learn, I too want you to learn. You are my child…I love you…never forget that. I am working even when you can’t see- trust me, and in the end, you will understand…

"I'm not meant for this" (Journal Entry)

You know, maybe I’m not meant for this. Maybe I’m not cut out to do what we’re trying to do…Honestly, I think I get too discouraged when something doesn’t work out the 5th time or the 10th time. I am discouraged and frustrated and feel like it’s impossible.

Do I have what it takes? I know I have something otherwise I wouldn’t have made it this far, but do I have what it takes to really do this and complete this task? This week our story-teller told us she can’t help us anymore…in an indirect way, of course…why can’t these people just be honest with you once in a while?

What is the right direction to go in? Why does everything have to be so unknown? Who in the world would want to help us with this work? Why am I afraid to take chances? If I knew what chances to take, then would I take them?

Father, I feel like I’m giving the enemy a foothold here in expressing all these doubts and fears…but I’m not sure what else to do.

Perhaps I should praise you for what you have already done…
- praise for water coming today
- praise for indeed getting exodus re-recorded today
- praise for having a motorcycle to transport us
- praise for the beautiful weather outside today
- praise for financial support that I’ve never had to worry about
- praise for a supportive family
- praise for support from the local pastors, and encouragement from other questers
- praise for Deepika’s willingness to do more scripture recordings
- praise for uncle’s relationship being somewhat restored, and their invitation for this festival tomorrow.
- Praise for our landlord perhaps finding another person to try back-translating with
- praise for food to eat every night
- praise for the cooler temperatures- and ability to sleep well
- praise for minor health issues, and minor body pain (back and foot)
- praise for language learning…always can be better, but still, praise for what I do have…
- praise for the friendliness of our neighbors- no hostility toward us or our work- even though they may not fully understand what we are doing
- praise for a bed to sleep on
- praise for my little bear that Natalie sent me
- praise for cards and emails from home
- praise for speakers and mp3 players that do work most of the time
- praise for communication via email and phone
- praise for His Word to comfort and direct us
- praise for clothing, and praise for new clothing
- praise for the fun times we have with Panna
- praise for the beauty of the K people when they smile
- praise for the K people when they speak so fast to each other we can’t understand one single word, but they can- how cool is that?
- Praise for tears that keep up humble
- Praise for music to encourage and motivate us
- Praise for the sun shining so we can dry clothes on the roof
- Praise for knitting needles, and crochet hooks
- Praise for ER, Alias, Lost and other shows that we can watch and enjoy each other’s company
- Praise for my prayer calendar on the wall next to me to remind me of all the people upholding me and this work in prayer…
- Praise for tasty cakes, and oatmeal crème pies- so yummy!
- Praise for ability to walk, run, laugh, see, smell, hear
- Praise for the fact that I’m a child of God

Another thing: what is “my best”- am I doing it? Would I know if I wasn’t? What does that look like? And I know it’s different for each person- but what is it for me? And can that sometimes include, doing what I might think of as “nothing?” Or is my “best” mean always doing something? If I’m not doing anything, that isn’t my best, right?

I really wish I knew- Lord, please show me what you want from me…for the work, my relationships with the people, with Robin…from my heart, to yours…what do you want?

I feel like I’m hardly doing anything, mainly because I don’t know where else to look to find people to help us. Where else can I try? Randomly meeting people doesn’t work real well, I’ve tried it, more than once. Should I try again? Okay, fine, but is that a waste of time? Well, you say, if you don’t have anyone else, then why not go for it? What are you waiting for? I don’t know. If I knew it was going to work, I might be more inclined to do it...

Ugh.

They didn't come... (Email to parents)

Mommy and Daddy,

I don’t really feel like going into all the details, but the girls who were supposed to come didn’t come- well one did, but left before we really got started. Anne came late- we were able to get the Exodus re-recorded, though it’s a terrible story- so unnatural,…I almost feel like starting over on it…

But leaving that aside- I talked to Anne and Mamta a long time about why they have been coming late, and that we can’t get any work done if they are going to continue like this. Finally when I asked if they were too busy, and if it would be too hard to keep doing the stories. They said, "yes”- I asked Anne if she would teach someone else how to do it, and she said yes…

I called another girl in, and we arranged to meet on Thursday at 10:30 (their sewing class starts at 11, but they can’t come earlier than 10:30)- I’m already discouraged because the new girl said she can’t come earlier than 10:30. I asked if after Thursday, she could come earlier, she said no. I asked if it would be better for me to meet her after the sewing class, she said no, she lives in the village and has to go home…It already sounds like she is backing out….

I cried part of the way home. Robin was with me on the motorbike. I talked with her some about. I told her, “I have a hard time just giving up on people especially before we even try them- any work. It's probably a waste of time to do it becuase we'd have to drive 1/2 hour over there, and then she can't even meet very long. But then I think, if she can do it, and does a good job- then driving an hour, hey, driving 2 hours should be worth it, huh? Well, maybe…but are there others we should try? I mean is it wasting time to pursue something that had a lot of odds against it?

I really don’t know- I talked to Vivian about it for about 45 minutes today, we brainstormed about others we could try…Didn’t come up with much…

I’m supposed to go an get a cultural story from our neighbor this afternoon, and we are supposed to go and meet the some other girls to try back-translating (asking someone to listen to a recorded Kahani story and put 'back' into English so we can understand it fully).

Anyway…any thoughts let me know- please pray for wisdom to know how to spend my time…Maybe time would be better to spent in prayer?

And you know, persevering and keep trying wouldn’t be so hard, if I knew what direction to even look in…

Love ya. Wish you were here.

~ Elizabeth
P.S One praise: water did come today.

No water today (Email to parents)

Mommy and Daddy,

Still no water came today. We filled up pitchers with the drinking water we have. All our neighbors are getting a little concerned. Some are cleaning out their water tanks, because, well, why not- it’s a good time to do it, since there is no water in them anyway…

A praise: Robin was able to get another recording of Abraham story from Precious last night and Precious said she would do another story…

In spite of no water, I’m feeling stinky, but fine about it. Weird. I do wonder what we will do when water stops coming altogether. Actually, I’m already convinced that a miracle is happening with the water that is currently coming from the pipes. It comes from our tanks, and our tanks are nearly empty….

Anyway, keep praying- Satan can use no water to create more tension and frustration which in turn affect our attitudes and interactions, and thus affects the work…he is so sneaky!

It also looks like rain today- hey, I might get a shower after all- while I'm on the motorbike on the way to storying session- perhaps I should lather up before I go out!

Okay- love ya!

~ Elizabeth

----WRITTEN LATER-----

So Anne didn’t come at all today…I drove over there for...well, nearly no reason. I got to take a bath, unexpectedly, at Pastor Moses’ house- that was nice.

I called Anne after 20 minutes- she was at Mamta’s house. I talked to Mamta, she said they had some work they were doing, they would come after 20 minutes. 30 minutes later, I called again, they still had work, and it didn’t look like it would get finished any time soon. I said okay, I have to go- can you come tomorrow? Anne said “maybe”- and for me to call her tonight to find out if they got the work done or not. I have told her we just need to do this one more recording, then I’ll use some of the other girls- but still, it’s been a struggle to get her to come. Since she didn’t come at all today- I think my patience has gotten pretty slim – and considering, we hardly got anything accomplished last week because she was late the whole time. We don’t have to just wait around, but need to move on to the next person...but it's hard.

I asked three of the girls who have shown some interest in the stories, to come tomorrow at 10am to do stories. They all said they would- that will be interesting. We’ll see what happens.

"The Chosen Path"

The Chosen Path - By Kathryn Lay

“The path of the just is like the shining sun, that shines ever brighter unto the perfect day.” ~ Proverbs 4:18

Never before had I ever attended such a large memorial service for someone. So many people had turned out to mourn the loss and celebrate the life of my dear friend Linda.

As I sat in the pew, my emotions struggled with the sorrow of losing a special friend, the pain I felt for her husband and four young children, and the horror I felt for her three-year battle against cancer. Yet as I sat there listening to the service, I was blessed by hearing of her strength, her love for God, and trust in Him, her care and concern for others in the midst of her pain and fear, and her ability to have planned and written this amazing memorial.

The pastor said something I will never forget: “Linda often said how God had blessed her by teaching her so much through this time. Although she would not have chosen to go down this path, she thanked Him for what this time gave her in her walk with Him, and the quality time she spent with her friends and family.”

I shivered at the thought. How could my friend have thanked God for leadin her down such a devastating path that ended in ther death and separation from her husband and children?
What if God asked me to do something like that – something more difficult than I ever thought I could handle? Yet from painful experience, I knew He asks us to trust Him even when life doesn’t make sense and our hearts are bruised and battered.

But what if there were two paths from which to choose? What if Linda had beaten her cancer? What if she had never had cancer at all and been allowed to live a full life? If she had known beforehand that she would grow so much closer to God and her family through the cancer, which path would she have chosen? What path would I choose?

If made me think of my own journey with God. Fifteen years ago, my husband and I decided it was time to start a family after we’d been married for two years. He had finished college and begun his first teaching job, and we were ready. Getting pregnant was the next step on the golden path we planned to walk.

Time went by. Ten years, in fact. Ten years of disappointing pregnancy results, a false pregnancy, painful treatments, jealousy of our friends who were having children, and emotional pain that left us angry and bitter. We prayed and begged God to give us a child, to make us a family. I felt defective and set-apart from other women- terrified that God’s plans for us might include leaving us childless.

Then six years ago, through my friend Linda who so recently had died, we were shown a way to adopt a child who had been neglected, abandoned, or abused. Because of Linda’s friendship, baby Michelle came into our lives at nine months old, healthy and happy. I thought about our little girl and the two paths idea. Suppose God had given my husband and me a choice during our time of struggling with infertility and said, “Years down the road, you will adopt a loving, special little girl who will bring you great joy, or, you can have three birth children in the next five years.” My choice would have been to have those three biological children. My patience wouldn’t have waited for the promised daughter. I would never have chosen to go through those childless years and then spend another year in classes and being probed and prodded about our lives by strangers.

But I would never go back and change the circumstances. I can’t imagine life without my daughter, or the things she’s taught us, or the experiences we have gone through as adoptive parents. My prayers would have taken me down an easier path, but God chose a more difficult and fulfilling one for us. Yet, how can I compare the painful death of my friend to the glorious adoption of my daughter? Only in that Linda and I both came to a crossroads where we had to accept God’s will for our lives and conquer our fear.

Would I have chosen such a difficult road for my husband and me to become parents or for my friend’s painful death and sure passage into Heaven? No, because I could only see the steps in front of me. I couldn’t see around God’s curves. My fear was of the unknown future.
Thankfully, God doesn’t always ask me to choose. Instead, He sets me on the path best followed and gives me the strength to walk it, asking me to hold His hand and trust Him even when I’m afraid. The future is in His hands.

"Oh my goodness!" (Email to Parents)

So, pretty much nothing I had planned for yesterday worked out…

I did mail some notes and cards that needed to be mailed. I watched “End of the Speak” with Robin and Vivian- really good…

When I called Sam to ask about another girl, Asha, helping us- he said, “she’s not smart, she can’t do it” – You know, I think he needs a lesson in being more optimistic!! Anyway, he said he would introduce us, no problem…and that sure, we could try whatever. When I called him later to find out the time, he said Asha is going out of town for 10 days or so….so…won’t be able to do anything with her until she gets back. He also asked “Have you just left me, there’s no work for me anymore?” I said, “not right now, and when there is some, I’ll tell you.” Honestly, with his attitude, it’s hard to work with him...but I don't want him to get discouraged. Hmm.

Anyway, Robin got in touch with Preciuos and is supposed to go to her house this afternoon. She also got in touch with the girls we met last week, and has a mtg. with them at 6pm tonight.

The landlord just came and asked if I could meet this “person” (guy/girl?) on Tuesday to see if they might be able to help us with the work in some way. I told him I might be able to go, but if he was a “common gender” person, it might be strange. The landlord said, “I’ll go with you, and I’ll come back with you- then you can tell me if you feel strange or not…meet him first, and then tell me…if it doesn’t suit you, no problem, I’ll try and find a lady for you…” Oh the situations you get yourself into over here!

I need to call Anne today and ask her if she got admission to the technical school- and when it starts, etc. If I go meet this new person on Tuesday- that will mean not being able to meet Anne, which, probably isn't the best use of my time- should I do it anyway? Hmm...

Today, we taught Panna to say, “oh my goodness." She was so cute, and had great pronunciation!!! It was really funny! That was a highlight to the day….

~ Elizabeth

Everything is so unknown... (Email to Parents)

Mommy and Daddy,

It's August- wow, where did the time go?

I’m doing a little better with the feeling drained, but not too much- mainly just pressing on because it’s the right thing to do. Today’s session was completely not what I had planned, and an hour shorter, since Anne came really late…but still some good was gained from it.

Did I say that I think a big part of the draining factor in this work is living in the complete UNKNOWN. Not even knowing who will be there tomorrow, if the stories will be tested, who will help us, who will stop helping us, I could make a long list. The one factor that is the same is our Father….though, I need help to remember to do that.

Almost hit a donkey on my way to work! (Email to Parents)

August 4, 2006 (this is longer than originally planned!)

I got the Exodus story reviewed today with Anne- made the changes, but did not re-record…she struggled to tell it. There were a lot of changes, I think that’s why. I know it’s also not natural at all, which makes it harder. I asked her if I could come to her house tomorrow (Saturday)- would plan on spending the night. Both Mamta and Anne were unsure because they had some stuff to do in the bazaar, and didn’t know what time they would return.

I wonder if it could be true they don’t want me to come? And I’m just not getting the hints? Do I keep trying? I did tell one shopkeeper near NTD that I would visit his family tomorrow, so I’ll try to do that- and then go to Mamta’s house, I guess….is that really the best use of my time?

I mean, technically, it’s a “Day off”- so I can do whatever, even if it’s a “waste” of time in regards to the work- I can just visit people and enjoy that…but even on my “Free time”- perhaps I should be intentional in who I visit…there are neighbors RIGHT next to us…shouldn’t I visit them? Hmm.

The girls in the sewing class keep asking to hear the stories- they haven't heard these stories before, and most are pukka Kahani girls and women…so that's encouraging! One cool thing was a new girl came in today and randomly, kind-of under her breath starting telling the Fall story. I looked at her, and said, “how do you know that story?” She said, “She told me”- and pointed to one of the girls who had heard the story from Anne two days prior to that. “She told me, and I learned it.”

Wow…that’s cool! Something to praise the Lord about…in addition to EVERYTHING ELSE…really, there is so much to praise Him for- and thinking on that, and those things, I can get motivation from that!

I almost hit a donkey on the way to work this morning- that was a new one. And drove through the normal herd of goats on the way back. :) If nothing else, my life is an adventure…yes, maybe having an adventure EVERY day is a little draining…but honestly, who could ask for a better life than this? Not all days are easy, in fact, perhaps most are hard...but let's not focus on that!!

Last night, looked through pictures from the beach again…I have these moments of really wishing to be home…one moment is wishing to be laying on my puffy comforter on my bed, leaning against the pillows, reading a book with Natalie…snuggling together…

I have moments of teasing Mark as I walk into my room, and he in his room- teasing him from my room, and he laughs and defends whatever it was we were talking about. Then of course, there are hot-tub moments, with snow all around, getting out to go inside, and your feet basically freezing off because of the ice and snow. These days, I think about eating hamburgers (yes, beef!), with ketchup, fresh lettuce, and corn on the cob- eating around the picnic table. Natalie maybe in her swimming suit, sitting on a towel- and when she’ll get up, there will be a little wet print from where she sat. I think also about being around the fire, listening to Grandfather tell about his army days, or about Grandmother. I also think about sitting at Trisha’s table in her living room, eating ice cream and talking about possibly marrying Rahul. Somehow I can’t wait to come back and do everything I didn’t do when I was there…more than anything, take time to really hang out with my brother and sister.

Then my thoughts turn to where I might be in two years from now…will I be back here, or in another country? Will I be doing stories? What about the normal, “happy” life back in America? Do I want to try that for a while, live that life for a bit? Honestly, I’m afraid I might get stuck there…which isn’t bad or wrong if that’s what God wants…

I think about leaving Mark, Natalie, Mommy, Daddy again- no…somehow I don’t think I can do it. I keep thinking, no I can’t come back, I can’t leave my family again…not without my own family at least. And then I wonder- by saying this, what God might call me to, in order to stretch me. Of course I can leave family. I did it once, I can do it again- not in my strength by any means, but if God calls, then He will also give the strength…Not saying that will happen…but it is a realization…It is also SO FAR away, and takes too much energy to comprehend right now…

I can’t wait until you all come here…already envisioning you coming through the doors in the Delhi airport arrivals area (or Thailand airport), and just seeing myself running toward you, and hugging you for about 10 minutes…

It’s raining now, I should go open our water tanks, so some water can get in- we were down to about 2 inches of water in the tanks this morning. I don’t think anymore water came today yet either…

Love ya, and miss you a lot!

~ Elizabeth

A trip to Pakistan?

Vivian and I just discussed about taking a trip to Pakistan. Yup, you heard correctly! How cool would that be? She needs to do a visa run around Christmas, and while we wouldn’t plan to be away for Christmas, I told her if she wanted to go to Pakistan, I would love to go with her. We'll see!

Proverbs 20:24 (Email to Ruth George- relative)

The LORD directs our steps, so why try to understand everything along the way?
Proverbs 20:24
Ruth,

This verse is quite timely…thank you for sending it to me.

There are so many things to be decided about the project, and actions to take- and it’s completely confusing at times…and frustrating to know which direction the Lord wants us to take…But, true- why waste time trying to figure it all out?

Thanks for sending this verse!!

~ Elizabeth

This is impossible. (Journal Entry)

You and I were made to worship
You and I were called to love…
You and I are forgiven and free…
You and I will see, who we were meant to be.
~ Chris Tomlin

I have forgotten this…I was made to worship…am I worshipping you, Lord? Or am I completing a task for you?

This work is draining. When I was in America, teaching non-English speaking middle school students who might have no idea who might be sleeping with their mom that night, or who come to school only to escape the abuse they receive at home, or try to skip school to avoid the abuse from their classmates, in a city where drugs and sex are not uncommon terms for young teenagers- that was easy compared to the work I am doing now. Yes, each has it’s ups and downs, but I have to say, this has more to overwhelming than anything else I’ve ever done.

And right now, I’m wondering just how it will all get done. We’ve only been back 4 days, and I’m already exhausted. I haven’t even had a storying session with Anne, and I’m tired of it. What is wrong with me? Why can’t I get motivated? Language study went okay today, but still, I’m not looking forward to it much this week. There is just so much to learn in order to get where I need to be. Yes, yes, little by little it will come. True. But, who has patience for that? In the midst of looking for someone who speaks English and Kahani- being told today by several people it would be impossible to find someone like that.

Is this impossible, Lord? I know Satan wants me to believe it is. I know it is not…but…still, I doubt. Still I have such small faith, that I’m faltering to see what you could do through this…Lord, give me your strength- physically, but even more than that, strength to fully put my faith in you. Father, forgive me for not lifting these people and this project up to you more.

Father, we have met people- you have provided. And I know you will do it again. Lord, I wonder, can Precious do more back-translating? I mean, we tried once with her…should we try again? We have to try, right? Or maybe we shouldn’t waste our time. Something I'm learning is that sometimes, you have to move on to other people, not continue investing where there is nothing that will come of it.

The question is, in which situation do you keep trying and in which situation do you make the decision to move on? Tricky.

Lord, I wonder what time Anne will come tomorrow- we said 9:30. I’m not expecting her til after 10. Father, I don’t even know what story to do.

There is so much to this project…really, a ton to do- and my energy is nearly depleted already. I feel like I should have more energy than I do right now. Why don’t I? There is so much to do, I need to start doing it! And I am, we are…but still…we should look and look for a back-translator…going every where til we find one…? Right? Perhaps we should pray more…

Lord, please give me more faith…and energy to press on- and Lord, please do not let me be discouraged by not having everything fall into place…No one said this work would be easy…no one said it would happen in a day…no one said we could do it on our own…may I remember that…

Lots of unknowns = a great day! (Journal Entry)

(back in Kahan, after training in Thailand)

I am planning to meet Anne today at NTD and then go with her to Mamta’s village. I don’t think it is as far away as Anita’s, but I’m not sure…I do not know if I will eat there, or sleep there tonight, or meet others, or just hang out with Anita and Mamta, or if I will be able to record some stories, or tell some stories, or learn more language, or not be able to communicate at all, or if I will be able to take pictures, or not, or if that village will be similar or different from the other village I’ve been to.

Lots of unknowns- that’s what makes today a great day already! Perhaps the best thing for me about this project is how uniquely crazy it is! I mean, you can’t predict what will happen on any given day, except that the electricity will probably go off for a portion of the day. Other than that, our lives are so much “up in the air” or rather “up in our Father’s hands.” What a comfort!

In the midst of unknowns and “have no ideas” and “who knows” and “no ways” and “impossible” and “yeah right,” our Father knows, he not only has an idea, but a plan, and knows the way and that indeed it is possible and yes…it is right...and good…and He will lead us in that- as we seek Him.

Lord, help me to seek you more over the next three months. Help me to not see these people as objects or a task, but as people you want to worship you. Help me to take action, but not get caught up in the project itself that I miss the beauty of this culture and people all around me.

Help me find a balance with work, and time with you, as well as others- including Vivian and Robin. Help me to keep focused, and not lose heart or dedication for the project- help me to not give in when I should stand firm. Give me the strength I need to to make decisions that need to be made in the midst of who knows what the outcome may be. Please give both Robin and I an increased desire to see these people reached with your story, and give us amazing motivation to get this work accomplished. Please unite us in heart and help us to really work well together, complementing each other, encouraging one another, not dragging down each other, or hindering the work by our selfish or uncomfortable feelings. Give us wisdom to see that when it happens, and to take action against it. Please keep the enemy away from us- far, far away…may he be distracted by something else, so that we can press on. Thank you for your grace and mercy to us thus far.

Thank you for the time in Thailand too; for the fun times with friends, and also the amount of information we were able to take in- please help us apply it to our project.

Lord, we have less than two months before Judy comes for our consultant check- and so much work to do in that time. Lord, how can I not see it as work and a task to be completed? Is that all wrong? It does need to be done- at times it’s okay to be totally all about the relationships and the people, but at times, the stories do need to be crafted, right? :) Father, I pray that the work we do, will be good work, not just something to say we’ve done, but stories that will really have an impact and make a difference.

You know, another thing I forgot to do in Thailand was get a tape recorder…how did I end up back here, without that? Ahh!!!! I’m kicking myself for that now- hmm, is there a better quality one we can get here in Kahan? I don’t know. Man- Sam just called to asking when we should meet. Should we meet on Monday? What work do I have for him? Not much…And how to train him? And what stories to do? So much to think about and figure out…and then I don’t even have a good tape recorder to give him. Could he learn the stories himself? Maybe we should try that…Hmm…Father, please give wisdom and direction to what I should do…

Re: Fitting in (Email response to Aunt Bonnie)

Aunt Bonnie,

Thank you for writing! I’m glad you had a good trip and reunion, and your leg is doing better…do you still have the brace? How is that? I’m okay health-wise…had a boil in Thailand, guess you heard about that- so strange!!! South Asia can do some strange things to the body! My back is okay- it’s always great in Thailand because we have cheap, but good massages, and the beds are just…well…regular beds...haha…I think I’ll try and keep up doing the back exercises I had been doing before- that seemed to help a lot.

Thank you for your encouragement about fitting in wherever God plants me…You are right- and it is our attitude and perspective than can hold us back from fully enjoying the places and people that God has put in our life.

This time when returning back to our home in Kahan, I kind-of felt like, “shouldn’t we be done this by now? It’s been a year, and we’ve made this trip several times, and here we are again…shouldn’t it be over already?” It’s not that I don’t want to be here, but I can feel the intensity of this work beginning to take it’s toll on me, and realizing too that the enemy is working to discourage and drag me down.

I’m motivated to work even harder now, now that we’re back and have so much in front of us. In a way, it’s overwhelming, but just seeing our neighbors today, re-kindled my passion to see them praise our Father…and knowing that the work we are doing might be a part of that makes me want to put forth 100% of myself in getting this project completed!!!! Please do continue to pray for Robin and I as we do have lots of work to do and need to find some more people to help us with the work…pray for strength and stamina as a lot of the people don’t live near us…pray for boldness to try new things, even if we aren’t sure if they will work out or not….

What are you doing for school for the kids in the Fall?

Tell Andrew and Laura and Uncle Bob I said hello!

~ Elizabeth

Hold Fast lycis (Casting Crowns)

To everyone who's hurting
To those who've had enough
To all the undeserving
That should cover all of us

Please do not let go
I promise there is hope

Hold fast, Help is on the way
Hold fast, He's come to save
What I've learned in my life
One thing greater than my strife
Is His grasp
So hold fast

Will this season ever pass?
Can we stop this ride?
Will we see the sun at last?
Or could this be our lot in life?

Please do not let go
I promise you there's hope

You may think you're all alone
And there's no way that anyone could know
What you're going through
But if you only hear one thing
Just understand that we are all the same
Searching for the truth
The truth of what we're soon to face
Unless someone comes to take our place

Is there anyone?
All we want is to be free
Free from our captivity,
Lord, Here He comes