Sunday, December 31, 2006

Burned out... (Journal Entry)

Anyway, I’m feeling burned out somewhat…and unsure of what to do next in this project. It’s not that I don’t have things to do. I have too many to count, so many things that I even forgot something important I needed to do….

You know what, I think I’m feeling overwhelmed by it all- and stressed because I don’t know the answers…I know I never will know the answers, but even just a few hints would be helpful, you know?

Do I go to the village regardless of if Judy responds to my email or not? There are things to change in the stories, but if she doesn’t respond, would it be just a waste? No, nothing’s ever a waste, but with so much to do- is it the wisest way to spend time?

Anyway…Father, give me wisdom- help me to have PAITENCE…I feel a little bit like I’m just rushing through this- even knowing that another recording will be necessary, but part of me just doesn’t care, I just want to get it done. I know these thoughts are wrong, and I need to wait and take a step back and enjoy it too…

(picture: Ganga ["Grace"]- a new story-crafter)
Precious said today that people don’t really see how God can forgive them. She also told Robin another day that we can’t do sins against God directly, only to other people. Wow- these are things that are MAJOR in getting the gospel communicated- how then can it be accomplished? How will these people know about you? Will they ever? I’m crying for them now. Precious, Ganga, Aunty, Uncle, Ulka, our landlord and his family, Ganga’s aunt, her mother, her father, her several brothers and their wives. What about the principal, the dukandars (shopkeepers) upstairs, the neighbors we gave cakes too, the neighbor who wanted to know where You came from, and why You died. The village we first lived in, Joyti, Bicky, his wife, their parents, their brothers, Deepa, Gaitree, Panna.

What will it take? When will we know? Will we ever know? Will we ever see them turn to you? What else do they need? How can these stories be exciting? These stories need to be ones THEY WANT TO TELL…and REALLY BELIEVE….

Yes, we are getting some recordings- but they are just recordings. They are even fairly biblical. But, so what- we can easily have someone translate the Book- hey they are already doing that- we can have someone read that into a recorder, and play it- we can even get them to use emotion…but to TELL a STORY…what will it take? Why haven’t we reached that point yet? How can I work with Ganga, who doesn’t speak English, how can I communicate to her, how can I get her to have motivation to work on stories? How can I also have patience to know when to stop working and focus on building the relationship?

There just seems to be so much to do…so much to do…and as if the work that needs to be done is just mundane stuff- the recordings aren’t even exciting…the stories are confusing in English, let alone another language…no wonder Ganga can’t get it…

Father, show me what to do…please, clearly show me...

Here are some lyrics I’ve heard recently...

Lord I’ll count it all joy, when my travels close me in on every side.
Lord, I’ll count it all joy, when this road of faith runs through the darkest night.
For I know your at work in me.
Yes, I know, your provide all the grace I’ll need.

You have always been my rock
I will trust you forever, forever.
You have never failed me God.
I’ll trust you forever, forever.

Lord, I’ll count it all joy, when the weight of sorrow draws me to my knees.
Every heartache and pain, in your mighty hands as your forming Christ in me.
And I know that your word is true.
Yes, I know every trial you’ll pull me through.

Monday, December 25, 2006

Merry Christmas!


Vivian, Neetu, her little brother and I rode the motorcycle to a Christmas Day service at the Leprosy Mission down the road!





Precious, her grandmother, a neighbor, and her mother - we visited them, and several other neighbors on Christmas day!

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Email Update!

Email Update- December 17, 2006

Short Version:
“Grace” – a new story crafter
“Are you going to invite me to your birthday party?”
What do these people really need to know to follow HIM?
The Himalayas…a constant encouragement.

A New Story-Crafter
We’ve started crafting stories with a new friend, “Grace”- (the relative of one of our neighbors). This involves taking trips to her village (15 minutes on the motorcycle, and about 45 minutes hike down to her village). Living in the village a few days a week to craft and test stories has been a blessing. Fetching water, fire wood (all on my head, of course), making rotis (flat, round bread) by fire-light, unsure of where the next spot will be to go to the bathroom, conversing in the village language, etc, etc- the fun never ends.

“Grace” a new story-crafter and me working on stories…
wrapped in our shawls to keep warm!


Are you going to invite me for your birthday?
All of our neighbors and even a few others have asked me this question recently. They all know my birthday is on the 21st of December, and they are all expecting a party with food and dancing. So, attempting to be culturally appropriate, we’ll arrange a party. I’m also hoping two of our story-crafters will be there, and I’ll ask one to tell the story of Jesus’ birth. I hope to follow the story, by sharing a short testimony of what the birth of this baby means in my life. It will be exciting to have the house filled with people- from the lowest class to the highest, and three different religions—most non-believers, but many of whom have heard some or all of the stories we have thus far.

What do these people really need to know to follow HIM?
As Robin and I have been meeting to discuss additional stories to add to the set, this question has been laying heavy on my heart and mind. Since we are planning to do only 24-26 stories, it’s not possible to focus on all the qualities and characteristics that could draw someone to Him. Thus, we have to make some decisions about what stories to do, and what characteristics to draw out. We have learned so much from the past year and are able to make some good “guesses.” However, it’s hard to accept that we won’t ever really know what’s best. We can try what we think would be best-- but then must fully TRUST that HE will take are of the rest.

As I praise him for the work that has been done and also ask him to help me trust Him with the work that remains, He has directed me to this verse…the words that David encouraged Solomon with as he got ready to build the temple.

Be strong and courageous and do the work. Don’t be afraid! Don’t be discouraged by the size of the task, for the Lord God is with you! He will not fail you or forsake you.
He will see to it that all the work…is finished correctly.!
~ 1 Chronicles 28:20 (NLT)

The Himalayas – December brings cold weather, but also beautiful, clear views of the ‘snow mountains!’ Being able to wake up every morning and see the mountains (not these in particular, but other ones) constantly reminds me that just as the mountains stand firm no matter what happens- our Father is also there, no matter how good or how bad things may be. What a blessing to always be reminded of this.



PRAISE AND PRAYER:
Praise for a new story-crafter.
Praise for being able to make more progress on our previous stories.
Praise for staying healthy.
Prayer for all of our story-crafters (Nathan, Precious, Grace) as they continue adjust previous stories.
Prayer for my birthday party- that it would be another opportunity to demonstrate His love to the Kahani people. Also pray for my testimony- as I figure out how to say everything I want to in the Kahani language.
Prayer for guidance in deciding more stories for the set.

As you think about what this Christmas season means, don’t forget that so many people still don’t know its meaning. Pray for those across the street from you as well as the Kahani people- that HIS STORY would become real in their hearts!!!

Have a wonderful Christmas!

Til All Have Heard,

~ Elizabeth


Wednesday, December 13, 2006

"She has all her teeth!" (Email to friend back home)

(Part of an email to a friend back home)

...As the older women in the village were examining me one day, one of them was about 2 inches from my face- talking about my nose, and hair, and eyebrows and teeth. One said, “Look at how white her teeth are!” Another one said, “Oh my, look, they’re all there too!” (meaning my teeth!)
Then it was a show of who had teeth and who didn’t, and which ones were missing, and why, and for how long, etc, etc, etc. I wonder if there is a story in the Book about teeth- they would for sure connect with that one!!! :)

Anyway, crafting and testing stories in the villages has been going well. It’s physically draining as we fetch water and wood for the fire daily, among other village chores. However, it’s emotionally refreshing to be among the people whom these stories are for! Pray for “Grace” our new story-crafter- she’s a fairly good story-teller, and willing to help. Pray that she’ll realize that her aunts and sisters-in-law can provide useful feedback and that her aunts and sisters-in-law will listen and want to help. Of course, above all, pray that all of them realize the Truth within the stories…(see a picture of one of the little boys with his goats in "Grace's" village).

I hope you are enjoying the Christmas season!!!

~ Elizabeth

Sunday, December 10, 2006

This time next year...I won't be here anymore... (Journal Entry)

I started thinking today, during our prayer time today, that one day, I won’t be here anymore. In fact, this time next near, I won’t be here – this is my last December 10 in "Kahan"- most likely. Time is flying by, really.

After I leave, I won’t hear Precious's voice singing loudly “Shout to the Lord.” I won’t see look of surprise and wonder on the village women’s faces when they hear me talk in their language. I won’t taste the daal and rice- the watery kind in the village, or Panna’s nice thick kind in our home. I won’t hear Nathan tell me again how these stories will never be finished. I won’t see his reaction when he completes a story- or tells it to someone else. I won’t feel the cold wind blow through me as I drive the motorcycle down the mountains back from a crafting session. I won’t feel the heat of the sun, and the sweat dripping down my back as I trek to a village.

I won’t be surrounded by children asking, “take one more picture, one more, one more…” I won’t feel the scratching of the grass in my hair after returning from the river and cutting grass with the village women. I won’t wonder about where to go to the bathroom. I won’t wonder if I’ll eat once or twice the following day. I won’t hear people say, “I love this story,” or “Tell this story again, I want to learn it.” I won’t hear people say, “You are like my daughter, we are your family here.” I won’t wear six layers of clothes at once (unless we’re sledding, maybe). I won’t have soup at least 5 times a week for dinner. I won’t have a habit of sleeping in three difference places within one week. I won’t hear people say, “This is (or isn't!) a good story.”

I will feel the warmth of a heater. I will see lots of white people as opposed to dark skinned people. I will hear my language being spoken by everyone! I will taste taco salad, and ice cream on a frequent basis- or as much as I like. I’ll actually have more of a variety in choice about what I wear, where I go, and what I eat. I will have electricity 100% of the time, I think. I will have more than just two people to talk to in my language. I will miss my neighbors calling to me from their porch, asking how I am, or why my clothes don’t match, or if I've eaten breakfast yet.

I will wonder what Ganga, Nathan and Precious are doing and if they have forgotten all the stories. I will wonder about Anne's aunt, and if the stories she heard had any impact at all. I will think about the first draft of our creation story, to the last draft and how much it changed. I will have a car versus a motorcycle. I will sit in front of the fire in the winter, and next to the pool in the summer. I will cut grass with a lawn mower as opposed to a knife. I will carry things using my hand, not my head. I will go trekking for recreation, not out of necessity. Bathing will not be an hour long process, and will not be determined by the outside temperature, or the electrical current, or how long it has been since the last time I had bathed.

Of course, there will still be traffic. There will still be food occasionally I don’t care for. There will still be cold and hot weather. There will still be times I can’t communicate- either in my language or another. There will still be people who don’t like what I have to say, and others who love it. There will still be things I love and hate. There will still be exciting and encouraging moments, and discouraging and frustrating ones. There will still be emails to write and calls to make.

Somehow, I’m already anticipating the emotion I will feel when it comes time to leave. Yes, I’ll be happy in many ways- but actually, so sad in many other ways. I don’t know exactly what my emotions might be, but I can anticipate that it will be hard- even leaving now, would be hard…there is still so much work to do- so many people who need to hear…we are only two people…and Nathan, Precious, Ganga are only three more….how much can we do? Of course, the number of people who have interacted with these stories is so much more than that- but still….

How will they all know?

Lord, please do something amazing among these people. They need you so bad- like we do, like I do- I need you, every day I need you. Help me to realize that every day, and help these people to see their need for you too…

Wednesday, December 6, 2006

Sick... :( (Email to Parents)

Well, I woke up early this morning- as I have the past week (3, 4am)- but this morning, my stomach hurt really bad. I got up and got sick...The stomach pain didn’t go away, and I feel like at any moment I might throw up.

I got back in bed- 2 hours later, I was still awake- but had succeeded in praying for all the Kahani people I know by name...I prayed for the stories, for the work, for wisdom…

Then I got sick twice more…but the stomach pain subsided somewhat. Though I currently feel like if I move two inches, I’ll throw up. Vivian made tea, and I drank the whole cup…we’ll see what happens.

I don’t know if I’ll get to the village or not. I’m so frustrated…I even prayed last night that I wouldn’t’ get sick…if seems like we’re doing all the right things, so why would this happen? I know the Enemy is working too. Vivian said maybe we were getting close to getting things done, and he wants to stop it any way he can. EVEN THOUGH I KNOW God will work it all out in the end, it seems like Satan has the victory right now….

The weather is also most gloomy- has been for three days now- so foggy I can’t see our neighbors house…probably not the best for driving anyway…though I’m sure it would clear up by the time I would leave….

I even feel like I’ve been doing okay with resting and relaxing, since I know that when I don’t do that, HE will often make me so sick, I’m forced to stay in bed…but even it doesn’t feel like that’s why I’m sick…

And since I thought I was going to the village, I had caught up on emails and written many postcards already, there’s not a whole lot I can do from my bed…. “Work-related” that is….I mean, there is always stuff to do I guess….but…it just seems like good timing for the village trip as far as the other work is concerned…

I don’t know- probably better to trust HIM who knows than try to rationalize it in my own mind….

You know, I think, “oh, well, at least you weren’t in the village last night and had this to deal with this morning- where would you have even gone to the bathroom?” The other part of me says, “at least I would have already been in the village- perhaps some work would already be done, I would have just had to deal with it, instead of having to deal with it here/on the way….”

Anyway…I’ll call or write again and let you know if I end up staying- if I do not write again, then assume I got better somehow (or not) and headed to the village…

Love ya.

~ Elizabeth
P.S. The blanket you got is such a comfort to me right now…I just want to hold it and squeeze it- it’s amazingly new, and clean and soft, and warm…and everything opposite to everything here right now…

Tuesday, December 5, 2006

Breaking point... (Journal Entry)

I do feel like I’m bending to the point of breaking in some ways. I had a long talk with Nathan today about story stuff. Some was encouraging, but most was frustrating, He’s frustrated- just trying to understand things, and I’m frustrated for the same reasons he is- why do we have to keep making these changes, and knowing that it will NEVER be perfect…

It was okay, but hard…I wanted to cry as Nathan asked for the 10th time, “tell me, do you have one story that has been finished as of yet? Will you ever? What is the point, what is the aim? Why? The first story- why is it not done yet???

I explained, “The girl who did our first stories, she helped us for a little while, but then left the work- and the stories she did have mistakes in them. Tomorrow, I’m going to another village basically start over again…and I have no idea if it will work or not. If not, I’ll have to try and find someone else, and start over again…” I wanted to ask him, “Do you think I’m not frustrated by all this? Do you think I want to keep doing these stories? I’m trying to keep my enthusiasm so someone here is excited about this…but how do you think I feel driving over here daily in the freezing cold, rain…and then driving home in the dark- I’m here from America without my family, I don’t even know the language…you think I’m enjoying doing the stories over and over and over again?

I’m not sure if he ever got how I felt, I tried to remain calm. If I had gone too much into it, I would have cried, and both his cousin and sister were sleeping in the other room, and if I had cried in front of him, I’m not sure how that would have made him feel…what to do?

Anyway, there is much to do- I have to get ready to start over on the stories tomorrow….and have to figure out how to say everything in Kahani…and, have to pack and figure out how much stuff to take, and what to take and what not to take…and have to get the stories ready to go…

Monday, December 4, 2006

Stand Lyrics

~ by Rascal Flatts
You feel like a candle in a hurricane.
Just like a picture with a broken frame.
Alone and helpless, like you’ve lost your fight.
But you’ll be alright. You’ll be alright

Chorus:
Cause when push comes to shove,
You taste what you’re made of
You might bend til you break
Cause it’s all you can take.
On your knees you look up
Decide you’ve had enough
You get mad, you get strong
Wipe your hands, shake it off,
Then you stand. Then you stand.

Life is like a novel, with the end ripped out.
The edge of a canyon with only one way down
Take what your given before it’s gone.
Start holding on, keep holding on.

Chorus:
Cause when push comes to shove,
You taste what you’re made of
You might bend til you break
Cause it’s all you can take.
On your knees you look up
Decide you’ve had enough
You get mad, you get strong
Wipe your hands, shake it off,
Then you stand. Then you stand.

Bridge:
Every time you get up and get back in the race
One more small piece of you starts to fall into place

Saturday, December 2, 2006

Random notes (Email to Parents)

Robin and I had a good talk tonight about expectations and communication. We both shared things that we were assuming, and it was good to go ahead and talk about it. It was also good to re-evaluate how we're doing the work and the best way to approach things.

So, my back hurts again…don’t know what to do- I’m half minded to ask Vivian to pray for it every night- that seemed to work last time. And we don’t have electricity. Nothing unusual, but makes it hard to take a bath…or wash clothes- especially since I need to bathe. And need to soak these clothes in hot water to disinfect them from the scabies thing….

I’m planning to finish testing with Anne's Aunt on Sunday. I may ask Anne's aunt if she would want to craft a story- but please pray for that. I’m not sure if I should do that now, or later…she is CLOSER as far as location, and she does have more of a community around her to share with- but still….what’s the best solution- I don’t know. I am planning to meet with Nathan again on Monday evening.

Have a great weekend- tell the kids I miss them a lot.

~ Elizabeth