"Why Don't you Trust Me?" (Journal Entry)

Arms around her, Jesus said, “Why don’t you trust me?”
“I just don’t see how it’s going to happen…” she said, tears falling from her eyes
Jesus replied: “You can only see so far, you can barely see into the next second in front of you, why worry beyond that? I can see the next minute, hour, afternoon, day, week, month, year- I can see it all- and it is all very good.”
“It’s hard, Lord- I am wearing out- trying and trying again is starting to get old. I want to keep persevering, I want to please you, I want to accomplish this work. After all, there are people here who have never heard of you- shouldn’t that be enough motivation right there?”
“No, actually, it’s not. Nothing on earth will ever be enough motivation. Have you not yet realized that my glory, and my Name is what matters most? True, recording the next David story is important, and certainly part of bringing glory to my Name…but getting that next recording, or even getting another cultural story from a neighbor is not all that I’ve called you to be or to do.”
“What do you want, Jesus?” She asked, only half understanding. “I don’t know what else to do- how much to try, how much to give in, and how much to stand firm. I don’t know how much even to be still, and how much to take action. I’m getting discouraged with the people we’re working with who are letting us down…”
“Why? Don’t you know people will always let you down? Why expect anything more from them? I know, you should prepare for the worst and expect the best…generally a good guideline. However, perhaps what you are expecting as the “best” isn’t what I have in mind. Thus there is a conflict between your desired expectations and my ultimate plan.
“What do you want from this? What is your ultimate desire and outcome, Lord?”
“Oh no,” Jesus said, shaking his head. “If I told you that, where would the fun and suspense be? You wouldn’t learn all that I have planned for you if I just told you the answer to all the questions. It would be easier for me too- to just tell you all the answers. But, like a teacher who doesn't give out the answers to their students becuase they want them to learn, I too want you to learn. You are my child…I love you…never forget that. I am working even when you can’t see- trust me, and in the end, you will understand…