Fitting in... (Email from Mommy)

Dear Elizabeth,

Thanks for responding. I really and truly AM proud - so very proud of you - for so very many reasons!

I am NOT disappointed in you AT ALL. Don't be disappointed in yourself. Satan condemns, but God convicts and that is a HEALTHY feeling. God is working on YOU - what a privilege - and YOU ARE RESPONDING and grateful - what a beautiful thing. That does not equal "success" by our definition, but our ways are not God's ways. He's not interested in us being "successful," or right, but just being WITH HIM - humbly serving and showing mercy and loving justice.
That is the lesson that we are learning right now too. Looking at some situations in our life right now makes us feel very disappointed indeed and like complete failures too. We know better, but we still feel that way (at least I do!). But what does God want from me - I am trying to let this draw me closer to Him, rather than feeling like I don't deserve His love.

I am not "worried," really, but it is good to know where your head and heart are as much as possible so I can support you - and I consider that a privilege.

I think you would enjoy all the perks of being in the city if you didn't have the project issue hanging on you. What you said about not fitting reminded me of how you felt in college at times. There has to be an answer. I'm not sure what it is, but it is all part of the calling - for you anyway - it's part of the sacrifice to a degree. At least you enjoy being SOMEWHERE (i.e. the village)! (I know, even though you don't fit in there the way you wish you could!).

It seems that all of life is adjusting and trying to fit into where we are. I hate that you are not here! It doesn't seem to fit with me at all. I miss you terribly, and I can't fathom you being away as long as you plan to be - BUT it's okay - somehow it's okay because I know it is the right thing.
I guess those are enough random thoughts for one day!
I love you so much,
Mommy