Discrimination (journal entry)

More on the language learning side of things…Not only does the verb change according to object, but I think it changes depending on how it’s used. For example, the past tense of “cut” could be different depending on if you say, “I cut” or “I cut a tomatoe.” And, I learned that if you say, “Last night, I dreamed”- the ending on the verb “dream” depends on if what you saw in your dream was a ‘female’ thing or a ‘masculine’ thing! My goodness!

I wrote down a whole list of things today and tried to gain some kind of understanding as to when verb endings are one way as opposed to another way. That merely presented me with a whole bunch of new verb endings that I hadn’t even heard before. I’m not sure how to go about figuring it out…

Somehow today, and yesterday, I’ve felt a little “down." I'm not unhappy about being here, not frustrated with language learning or anything in particulair. I can just tell my mood is a little less thrilled than it had been. I’m not sure why, but pray that my enthusiasm would return. The thoughts of “I want to leave” have not entered my head at all. It’s not about not liking here, or the people or the food, etc…I’m not sure what it is, but hopefully, it will go away.

This morning Robin counted over 220 flies in our room…I recorded the flies with the Mp3 player…We are pretty sure the one batch had babies because at night there are a ton more sleeping on parts of the ceiling where previously there hadn’t been any flights sleeping. Plus, they seem quicker than their parents- this time you might have to hit the fly-swatter twice before getting one. We are trying to figure out what animals eat flies and figure we’ll get some pets along next time we come back to the village. We’ve also thought about mosquito nets…We re-read the section of the plagues and it said there were ‘swarms’ of flies on all the Egyptians. We figure we’re still better off than they were, but figure we’ve got at least one swarm in here with us. Anyway, we were told at our storying training that we should try to internalize the stories---I think we’ve got this once down…

Today, a woman from the lower caste came over and asked for sugar. Chachi brought some out in a tin cup for her. The woman kneeled down at Chachi’s feet, tossed some money on the ground and laid out a handkerchief on the ground. Chachi poured the sugar into the handkerchief. She half-way knelt down, the woman picked up the money and tossed it then into Chachi’s hands. I’m not sure if that is the way things are done here or if they changed things because I was watching…

And two nights ago when Joyti was here, we were both in the kitchen. Chachi came in with a bunch of sticks for the fire. I moved slightly towards the “Cooking” area of the kitchen and she said, “No, move over there, you can’t go over to that side…” Joyti looked at me and said, “I’m sitting here, and she didn’t say anything…hmm.” Typically, it’s the lower caste and kids that can’t do certain things or go in certain places….apparently we are considered lower caste, though I think because we are foreigners we are also somewhat outside the system altogether. Anyway, I’m not sure if Joyti was really surprised by her mother’s comment or if she was trying to make me feel better. I wasn't sure exactly how to feel...it was a little strange and unexpected.