Goodbye came so soon (Email to Parents)

(written after my family came to visit)

Mommy and Daddy,

....You know, it’s so strange being here all of the sudden, alone. I don’t remember if it was Danette or Carolyn who was talking to me about you coming maybe a month ago, and made that statement: “It’s great…when they do leave, it’s somewhat of a relief- that they came and survived, but there is also an “aloneness” that hits you. I definitely feel that.

What’s more strange is somehow, work is still waiting for me…I feel so distanced from it- not in a bad way, just as if it’s been so long…and it has been a long time…I also really want to be with you- strange, I don’t feel the urge to be HOME necessarily, but just to be with you…

I didn’t realize saying goodbye at the airport would come so soon. Had I to do it over again, there would be some things I’d do differently, but isn’t that always the case? I hope I didn't seem to rushed, or stressed or concerned with logistics and details that I didn’t rest and spend time with you enough. Sometimes I get too concerned with the details- I guess I felt more of a responsibility for you than I ever had before. Suddenly I was taking care of those who have taken care of me. It was good for me, and I enjoyed it…but certainly something I hadn't really been through before!

You were amazing- I’m so proud of you for coming over here…wow, Daddy- you were the one I was most concerned about- and you were drinking lemon juice off the street, and taking bicycle rickshaws all by yourself….wow! And even bargaining for a carpet! Mommy, you being forced to step back from being the one to hold everything together and follow my lead must have been challenging for you. I hope it was enjoyable to sit back a little, but I’m sure stressful at times too. Natalie- you eating the food and liking a lot of it- that was super- at least trying it- that was all I asked for, and you did it! Good for you. Mark- I appreciate all your help too--- out of everyone, it was clear that you have been to a third world country before, and that helped a lot in the culture shock.

You all have to come visit again, of course… :) I’ll let you catch your breath from this trip first…but seriously….you’re welcome anytime…it’s a 14 hour flight from Chicago, so I hear… :)

I love you all so much- and it’s going to be hard getting back to work, but knowing that you know what my life is like will make it easier in phone conversations, and describing life here to you- and in turn, that will make my life easier, and thus make my work easier too :)

Goodnight.

~ Elizabeth