Re: "What's Next for me" (Email reply from Mommy)

Elizabeth,

Thanks for sharing what you can - it helps. We want to understand - as much as we have the capacity to understand. And God can give us more of a capacity than we might think as we ask him.

I'm so glad you are feeling better, though still cloudy.

Certainly changes have taken place all over in the past two years. In some way, I feel like we have been carried through it - I have survived things that should have sent me over the edge. I think part of the reason is that I trust the Lord, but a big part is also that I trust YOU and your relationship with the Lord. You have your head on straight and your heart in the right place. That makes it much easier to support "outrageous" decisions and ideas. I know you will not be impulsive or rash in your decision-making - just the opposite!!

It's good you are processing, but avoid over-analyzing, if it's possible to know the difference. Sometimes life is better just lived and not processed!

I can't begin to imagine your feelings about leaving training for the last time. No matter what you KNOW about how God holds the future, etc. the EMOTIONS must have been overwhelming - especially for someone like you who believes in BEING ALL THERE - wherever you are.

Perhaps that is a question - does "being all there" mean letting go of every where else?! In that regard, I'm sure we can not be totally all there, but only TRY to be all there - and that's good enough. CRY it out, Elizabeth. Go ahead and cry. I DO KNOW that when you feel like crying, it's a healthy thing to do. It doesn't mean life is falling apart or you are not handling things. It is a moment - and we need to be "all there" in that moment too. "Embrace the pain" and let God comfort you. It's precious to have a real need and know that God is wrapping His arms around you. Those intimate moments are a crucial part of our relationship with Him. I love you so much. You are an amazing young woman. How could God bless me with such a wonderful daughter. I am truly blessed. Love and Miss You LOTS!

Mommy