Missing family - thoughts (Journal Entry)

“Those who belong to Jesus Christ have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires.” ~ Gal. 5:24

Thoughts from Oswald Chambers:
“…It is not a question of giving up sin, but of giving up my right to myself, my natural independence and self-assertiveness, and this is where the battle has to be fought. It is the things that are right and noble and good from the natural standpoint that keep us back from God’s best."

“…Very few of us debate with the sordid and evil and wrong, but we do debate with the good. It is the good that hates the best, and the higher up you get in the scale of the natural virtues, the more intense is the opposition to Jesus Christ…”

“… ‘Those who belong to Jesus have crucified the sinful nature’ – it is going to cost the natural in you everything, not something. Jesus said, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself,” i.e. his right to himself, and a man has to realize Who Jesus Christ is before he will do it. Beware of refusing to go to the funeral of your own independence."

I think about missing my friends and home, and while I’m not sure it’s a sin, I do realize that these “good” things can keep me back from God’s best. Right now, I’m somehow allowing those feelings to distract me from what God has planned for me. Not that He didn’t know I would miss my friends and family, not that He didn’t plan for that or isn’t in control now, but just that He has a goal and purpose in mind for me...

Below is an email reply from Janna- another Epic member in response to an email I sent to her about missing home/family.

---------------------------------------------------------------------
Hi friend,
....I do believe Gd has called you here. I don't know what experiences He needs you to have for your future and what you'll be doing. Maybe he needs you away from the states for two years to cement things in your life. Maybe you need the quietness. Maybe it's to pull you away from where you're so independent and to teach you to rely on him. Maybe it's to take you out of your comfort zone and break some things in your life.

Regardless, these two years have a purpose for your heart, even though you might look at it as though there is no point. Maybe it's to teach you to work with others who are so different from you.

I know the heartache of missing friends. Missing people you really connect with, you know? We have had plenty of friends overseas but none whom i have connected with like my friends from college. And maybe i'll never have that again. That was a hard realization for me. It took me about a year to work through. I am not Thai or Chinese or Bangladeshi. Therefore, i will never know how they think the way I do with Americans. I will never be able to speak their language as well (that's frustrating!). What did i do to get over it? I'm not so sure. I guess it took time and some good talks over skype (which i can't do from here and i know you can't from where you live). But it just took time and a grieving process to go through and realize it all.

Ok, i need to go to the airport. Miss you too and i promise more later!!!